Testy, Testy

I don't know what everyone is so crabby about, but it looks like the Redbirds and Astros just cannot get along. The benches cleared on both Saturday and Sunday, further escalating heightened tensions between the two teams that stem from an April 8th incident in which Albert Pujols made an aggressive slide into catcher J.R. Towles. Despite Pujols issuing a personal apology to Towles, he and pitcher Brandon Backe exchanged words the following day, presumably setting the stage for this weekend's profusion of aggression. Saturday's fracas began when Adam Wainwright flung a pitch behind Houston's Brad Ausmus. Seeing this as payback for Roy Oswalt hitting Jason LaRue with a pitch a half inning earlier, all hell broke loose. Then on Sunday, a high pitch from Brandon Backe caused Yadier Molina's temper to boil over. Players spilled out from both dugouts as he exchanged words with Backe and headed towards the mound. The argument quickly dissolved and play resumed, although Molina was still angry about the situation after the game and offered no apology for his reaction. From MLB.com:

"I wasn't expecting it. I wasn't expecting that pitch that close, right in my face. If you're going to try to hit somebody, you've got to do it in the body. You can't throw it in the head. That's not professional. That's not baseball. That's not human."

Yeesh. Mr. Molina does not appear to be in a very forgiving state of mind, which leads me to believe that we may not have seen the end of this St. Louis vs. Houston conflict. Call me crazy, but I don't think Enya and a bubble bath are going to resolve these hard feelings. However, based on the outcome of those two games, a general sense of animosity does not appear to be a problem for the Cardinals. In fact, these guys seem to feed off of it. These are certainly not the only instances in recent memory where anger has been a motivating factor for Pujols & Company. That said, the Cardinals took the series 2-1 and are 16-10 heading into tonight's home game against Bronson Arroyo and the Cincinnati Reds. I'm personally hoping Adam Dunn pees in Molina's locker.

I Might Vomit

Okay, I was not AT ALL prepared for this.

I acknowledged and subsequently succumbed to the Cardinals' mediocrity WEEKS ago, convinced that no further joy could be gleaned from a season thats only consistency has been it's inconsistency. Just when I'd come to terms with the fact that my Redbirds wouldn't live to see .500 this year, they came out of absolute nowhere and RUINED EVERYTHING! As a result of Adam Wainwright and Yadier Molina finishing off a sweep of the Brewers, we have now won five games in a row, seven of our last eight, eight of our last ten and six in a row against Milwaukee. (It's obviously unnecessary to point out, but this is the most substantial hot streak we've had all season.) Wainwright was positively TERRIFYING as he cruised through seven scoreless innings and Molina slapped two homeruns to provide the only offense that was necessary. After a five run attack on the Brewer bullpen in the ninth assured Jason Isringhausen another day off, Troy Percivel fanned two straight in the ninth to complete the shut out. Thank heavens for that, too. The good news helped me stomach having to sit through a nauseating beat down of the Reds pitching staff yesterday, as it combined to give up 20 hits and twelve runs, including seven scored in the 7th inning alone. I was encouraged early when Jason Marquis gave up a four run lead in the third, yet sadly it was not meant to be. It just so happened that today, Cincinnati's pitching was worse then Chicago's. Tough break, really.

Anyhow, I think I'm actually going to pass out. I'm reminded once again of how stressful it is to be in contention. Losing is easy, because you sort of become numb to it. Once you know the playoffs are entirely out of your reach, those losses don't hurt so much anymore because they don't really matter anyway. At that point, what does it matter if you end the season five games below .500 or twenty games below .500? No wonder Cubs fans are always so happy to call themselves the "lovable losers". The poor bastards are practically sedated by sucktitude! Everything changes, however, when it becomes clear that just a few more notches in the win column could potentially propel us into the postseason. Going into this four game series against the Cubs this weekend, I'm a total nervous wreck! I've been on the verge of an anxiety attack all morning, because low and behold, this series actually MEANS something! Not even a little part of me was expecting this. Dear god, someone get me a ventilator. And a barf bag. And maybe some muscle relaxers. I don't think I can take it!

Regardless of my unstable physical and mental condition, Braden Looper and Rich Hill are going at it right now in the series opener. I will more then likely be hiding under something heavy for the remainder of the afternoon.

How Many Fingers Am I Holding Up?

In my excitement over the Cubs misfortune this past weekend, I failed to comment on the sudden resurgence of the St. Louis Cardinals. By golly, these scrappy little fellas have won 6 of their last 7! We're only four games under .500 and five games out of first place! Most remarkable is that all of this has been accomplished despite the fact that people are getting beaned in the head, breaking their wrists and having knee surgery. Pujols has smacked a few more home runs bringing his total to 12 and it even looks like Chris Carpenter is taking the first steps to recovery from his elbow surgery by playing some catch. Well, well, well!! These Redbirds are making fatigue, famine and all other assorted handicaps and injuries look good!

The most disturbing of these is the blow Gary Bennett took to the head during an at bat against the Reds' Aaron Harang on Wednesday. (Gary Bennett, of course, is the backup catcher who is taking Yadier Molina's place while he sits on the DL with a broken wrist. Jesus. At this rate, I'm not going to recognize anyone on this team by July. Bring on the backups of the backups!) How he walked away from that with all motor and verbal skills in tact, I'll never know. Anyhow, Tony LaRussa is NOT happy about it and wants Harang to be suspended.

"He didn't mean to hit him, but he meant to throw up and in. It's a very
dangerous thing. If you're a big league pitcher, you should be able to get the
ball below the shoulder. If you don't, you should have big consequences, because
that's a dangerous thing."

Now, I agree that getting a 90 mph fastball to the skull is probably no picnic. However, I don't think it's necessary to punish a guy for a pitch that CLEARLY got away from him. Can you imagine how awful it would feel to be directly responsible for giving someone potential brain damage? Anyone who intentionally does that is a depraved miscreant lacking any semblance of a moral compass anyway. Unfortunately, an automatic suspension isn't going to change that.

Further aiding our quest to become the gimpiest team in major league baseball is Preston Wilson's recent announcement that he will undergo knee surgery. He's suffered from cartilage damage and fluid build up in his right knee since spring training and is consulting with doctors to ascertain whether he will simply undergo a clean-up procedure or a more serious microfracture surgery that would keep him out for the remainder of the season. I think his backup is actually my sister, so we'll see how this goes.

Anyway, since this whole injury thing seems to be working for us, I recommend that all remaining players on the roster either go play patty cake with a grizzly bear or juggle a chain saw this weekend. The more maimed the better! Heck, as a sign of solidarity I've even given myself a paper cut. I mean, it didn't bleed or anything but it still hurt like hell. Take that, Gary Bennett!

PSA: I Apologize For Being Totally Bonkers

This post is an effort to apologize for being a suicidal lunatic. I'm a terrible loser and have been fortunate to have experienced back-to-back seasons of wild Redbird success. Clearly, I'm misguided and totally delusional. That aside, I would like to say that there is something to be said for my team not being so fantastic. It's called PERSPECTIVE. I'm not completely deranged. I know that we can't have 100 plus wins each and every year. I'm spoiled rotten. (True story. Ask my parents.) It's humbling, in an "I wanna run people over with my car" kind of way. So....sorry to be a wet blanket. I can't help it. I'm hardwired to complain about things that do not agree with me. (True story. Ask my boss.) However, I am making a resolution to be more positive. As well as my self imposed Cardinals blackout has worked, I really can't live like this. I have a trip to St. Louis to brace myself for, after all. And you can't hide behind a computer when you're sitting there watching a game live. I mean, you can try to hide behind a beer guy, but usually you just end up looking like a big creep. Trust me. It doesn't go very well. So, I'm shaking it off by thinking of my most favorite live game experience EVER.

I'm in St. Louis with my Dad and one of his old buddies from work. It's Friday night and absolutely UNBEARABLY hot. I mean, sweating your guts out HOT. Add to that the fact that I had driven four plus hours to St. Louis that afternoon and had been desperately trying to keep up with the beers that kept being put into my sweaty hands and I was one big hot mess. The Cards were losing 0-4 going into the ninth. Somehow, (and the details are fuzzy due to the aforementioned beers,) Yadier Molina ended up capping off an unreal comeback in the bottom of the ninth to win the game 5-4. I have never in my life been such a drunken, delirious, sweaty mess of a human. There was lots of jumping around, high fiving and slurring. Meanwhile, my Dad's friend was snoozing peacefully in his seat. (WHA???? Yeah, it didn't make sense to us either.) I ended up back at our hotel calling everyone I knew to tell them about a game that no one knew or cared about. Meanwhile, it's a memory I will never forget. That's why I love the game. It truly isn't over until it's over. So, while I get frustrated, angry, upset and a few other words that aren't really appropriate, I can handle the losses believing that at some point, even if it is just for one night, I'll get to see something like that again.